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“Yes, you can come over for dinner this Friday, I’ll make you ’spruitjesstamppot’. But only if yóu do the dishes.” Well, that’s fine by me. So after dinner I put on some fancy silver gloves and turn on the tap. *SWOOSH* In 1 second, my whole jeans are wet. “Oops, sorry! I forgot to tell you, the water flow is strong!” Luckily, I brought my pajamas, so I’m doing the dishes while my jeans lie on the heater.

When it’s time to go to the bar, my jeans are almost dry. But not for too long. When the waitress puts full glasses on the bar, she knocks over a beer… This time, my left leg is the biggest victim. Yak!

The following night, I sit on my couch in the same pajama pants. I watch Final Destination 3 and I drink Goldstrike. When it’s time to go out, I put on the same dirty jeans from last night. I won’t risk a fresh pair of jeans in a Saturday night bar! But this night, it seems, my clothes aren’t the target, but my stomach is…

I wake up late Sunday morning. My stomach feels funny, just as the left side of my head, where hopefully some cells of my brain still remain. I take a shower and go back to bed. I’m not capable of eating or drinking anything yet. Luckily, after one more hour of sleep, I’m fine. But I don’t know what’s worse: too much alcohol on my clothes, or too much alcohol in my body. Maybe next time, I should just stick to the water only.